Someday my Prince will come...

I recently read an article from RELEVANT Magazine about the horrible dating advice (you can read the article here: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/5-horrible-pieces-dating-advice).  As I read through this article, I was reminded of all the terrible advice I've been given.  At 33, I could count on one hand the number of men I've been on a date with, and I doubt I'd need even that many to count relationships that lasted past the first date.  That being said, I've heard a lot of advice from various people about dating, including four of the five from the RELEVANT article.  

I grew up on Disney movies like Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella, and thus I always believed that I needed a man to be complete, to be counted as worthy.  I saw movies like Snow White and believed that "Someday my prince will come...".  So I attempted to heed the advice I was given...I tried to just stop looking, to (as my mom would say) "Let go and let God".  I tried to being "hard to get"; I wore a ring on my left hand to try to get attention (seriously!!!!).  I tried to not be so picky, which turned out terribly (I blogged about it in an earlier post), but nothing lasted.

I watched my siblings, friends, co-workers and cousins pair up and marry off.  I kept wondering what I had to do to make God love me, to make Him give me what I wanted.  I tried to imitate my sister because clearly God loved her more.  Maybe if I did what she did, I would finally find my match.  I continuously compared my single life to the lives of those married folks around me and I became more and more confused.  What was I doing wrong? Maybe I needed to pray more, read my bible more, fast, join a small group, "kiss dating goodbye", go to bars, join eHarmony. I tried every piece of advice I was given, but it didn't work.  More than that, it left me in despair, struggling to find my place in a world full of couples.

So, if you have want to give me (or anyone else) dating advice... Don't tell me to trust God more, tell me why I need to trust God more. Remind me of the Gospel. Tell me who He is and who I am because of Him. Remind me that He is sovereign, that He is good, that He loves me.  Tell me how He has worked in your life. Don't just tell me what I need to do! I have been there, done that, got the t-shirt.  I I need more than a to-do list.  I need the Gospel.  I need to know that I am loved because Jesus gave His life as a substitution for mine; that I am righteous because He is righteous, that I am worthy because He makes me worthy, not because I am married.  I need to know that in His sovereignty and goodness, God has given me everything I need, that I don't need a spouse to "complete me" because that can only be found in Christ, our heavenly bridegroom.